Cooking Food on the Boat – The Man Version

Published On August 20, 2015 | By Mark Baese | Recreational Boating

I do not love cooking. I don’t “hate” it either, but I’d much rather food just be placed in front of me. I like to call this “restaurant style”.

Unfortunately, on the water there are very few restaurants that deliver to your boat. At last count, there were zero on my lake. Which means food doesn’t often appear in front of you magically. I say “often” as every now and again Julie will pop up from the galley with something magical she’s whipped up while I was in the dingy.

Since “restaurant style” is rare, this often leaves it up to us to prepare ourselves. I say “us” because I enjoy being married, which means I have to do my fair share on the boat. If you’re one of those “blue and pink jobs” people – this post?probably isn’t for you. There tends to be a lot of crossover in our boating world.

The good news is that we have a barbeque. This means when it’s my turn to chip in, I can enjoy the view and make the most of it.

Now, this doens’t mean I’m any good at it – so I like to keep it simple. “Man Simple”. (Ladies – you know what I’m talking about.)

This is a very small list of how I do my part to keep us fed on the boat.

This one I call de-lish-kabob.

This one I call de-lish-kabob.

Of course the shish kabob makes the list. It’s easy to prep, easy to cook, and they’re delicious. I’d put the prep time at 5 minutes, and the cooking around 10 depending on the choices you make. Plus, you get to stab things in prep. Nothing more manly than that.

It’s also really easy to prep for two people. We’re not feeding a family of four – it’s just Julie and I. Having portions that make sense is easy to do with the kabob.

That was also the most complex menu item I’m going to talk about today. I’m not kidding. Just look at what’s next:


A fine mexican dish.


Easy to make, easy to eat. We just coat them in cheese and toss them on the BBQ. They’re really easy to burn. OR?they’re not that easy to burn AND I’m really bad at making nachos. There always seems to be a few burnt ones in there.?They taste like burnt paper towel, and I don’t recommend powering through them to show your wife they’re actually “just fine to eat”. She won’t buy it, and you’ll regret every bite.

Sometimes we’ll get fancy and add some pre-cooked ground meat, onions, olives, peppers, etc… But other times, when I’m in charge – it’s just cheese on chip. It’s a simple two step process that’s a winner every time.

However, the?most simple thing I?”cook”, only has one step:

Smokies, wieners, burgers, meats. One step wonders.

Smokies, wieners, burgers, meats. One step wonders.

Meat. Most of the time we don’t even use a bun. Julie has a wheat allergy, and buying buns for one is stupid. That means we caveman (and cavewoman) it up just like they used to in prehistoric times: meat over flame, followed by a generous helping of relish and HP sauce.

That’s a one-step meal that can’t be beat. Mind you, Julie usually has a side dish prepped, but that part doesn’t involve me, so I’m not including it in the list.

That might be the most simple to cook – but it’s not the easiest thing.

I’ve saved that for last:

This isn't an endorsement for Rainier. It's an endorsement for cheap beer.

This isn’t an endorsement for Rainier. It’s an endorsement for cheap beer.

Now, technically, there’s zero cooking involved, and I’m not sure where beer rates on the food-scale of things – but I’m putting it on the list because it’s easily the most popular item on my menu.

I can’t even count the number of times our conversation has gone like this:

Julie: Hungry?

Mark: Naw, I’ll just have a beer.

However, sometimes things get really complex and I decide to go gourmet: we’ll have beer AND nachos. Those are special evenings.

If you were looking for a great article on boat food, this probably isn’t it. I’ll have to hand the reigns over to Julie for a future article that has some actual meaningful content. She’s the real star of the galley – and I sure do appreciate it!

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